take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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