whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
