I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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