Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize