Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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