i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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