i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
