in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
