TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
