did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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