Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
