Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have fence marks all over my body
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
