my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
