do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Randomize
