how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I party with great urgency now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
