remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize