am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
