Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
