Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
