Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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