Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
