He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also, beer. Big fan.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
