Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
third nipple confirmed
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
