All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
