Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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