You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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