she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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