theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
