is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
