How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
