I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
