the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
