great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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