it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
