At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
