we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Everyone says I win the strip club
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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