His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
