its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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