The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Girls should come with a carfax report
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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