How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize