I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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