That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
