she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize