Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
