Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
