I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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