i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
