so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
