when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
