i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
