Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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