I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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