I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
