I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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