Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
